Tuesday, 23 July 2013


Alhamdulillah everything is doing fine.
i'm happy with my life now. my new life.

hm i'm not sure if i'm depressed. i mean, i'm not sad.
but i'm not exactly happy either.
i can laugh and joke and sing and smile during the day,
but sometimes when i'm alone at night i forget how to feel.

Allah uji kita ikut keupayaan kita.

if you do right no one remembers,
if you do wrong no one forgets.
normal kah?
just because we do bad things doesn't mean we are bad people. knowledge should humble you.

you want the truth? well, here it is.
eventually, you forget it all. first you forget everything you learned - the dates of wars and pythagorean theorem.
you especially forget everything you didn't really learn, but just memorized and the night before. you forget the names of all but one or two of your favorite teachers, and eventually you forget those, too.
you forget your junior year class schedule and where you used to sit and your best friend's home phone number and the lyrics to that song you must played a million times.
and eventually, but slowly, you forget your humiliations - even the ones that seemed indelible, just fade away.
you forget who was cool and who was not, who was pretty, smart, athletic, and not. who threw the best parties, who had the most friends. you forget all of them.
even the ones you said you loved, and the ones you actually did, they're the last to go.
and then once you have forgotten enough, you love someone else.
that moment when you can actually feel the pain in your chest from seeing or hearing something that breaks your heart. indeed.... my heart,
maybe one day, i'll be what you need. but don't wait too long...
because the day you want me, may be the day i've finally given up.

tapi Alhamdulillah i was gave up finally. i'm bersyukur :)
so my heart would not get any hurt no matter in what from.. again.
everything happened ada hikmahnya.
everyday that i wait is another day that i will never get back again.
the most important thing is not to be bitter about life's disappointments.
i learn to let go of the past.
i try not to be afraid to make mistakes because most of the time the greatest rewards come from doing the things that scare me most.
maybe i'll get everything i wish for, maybe i'll get more than i ever could have imagined.
who knows where life can take us?
the road is long and in the end, the journey is your destination :)


  1. allah menurun kn hujan kepada kita tetapi setelah itu allah menurun kn pelangi, perkara pahit yang berlaku pada kita mungkin akan memberikn kebahagian kepada kita kelak. btw nice entry. visit here if have a time

  2. maybe that you're right. tapi..... sangat susah to forget :( nyway thanks. i'm done following you,