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it doesn't hurt anymore & both of us have moved on and get over it. i found a guy. he's better than you. i'm sorry for saying that but it's the truth. but maybe because he came after you,
i found myself being too careful with love &my heart built a brick
out of all those pain that you left even after you've gone
being my first love. thankyou for all those sweet highschool love
4 years ago, it was a dream came true for me did you know that? i was 14
when the most perfect guy in school got a crush on me. a senior who's
wanted by most of the girls in our school. and yet, you chose me; the so
called damsel in distress. i wonder why but i never ask. you did
somehow explain, of what makes me interesting in front of your eyes. i'm
uniqe and different you said. i'm not that pretty but somehow i can
make people notices me.well at least you did. it came across my mind
like every second when i was with you, that you could leave just like
that any second. i was being extra careful with you, not putting my
hopes too high so that i won't get hurt. not loving you that much so
that i won't hit rock bottom if you ever left. but i'm sorry that i hurt
you for doing that. most of all, i'm sorry for being the first to gave
everyone wonders why the perfect couple of the year break
up. who's the one who left? which one of us finally gave up? and i
can't really answer that. seriously, why did we break up? i guess all
those fights and screaming at 3AM actually does affect our hearts
somehow. it took quite some times but finally it happened. we got
exhausted. we love each other too much and at one point, those love
turns into "i want to own him/her" it's not enough being a
special person in each others heart anymore. we want to control
everything. movements, talks & even what's in each others head.
we want to know everything & when we can't.. we got pissed off
and we fought. i'm sorry for saying this but you're the most annoying
person that i've ever been with. i hate your smile. i hate it so much
till the point i frown each time you smile. whats more, i hate the sound
of your voice & i hate your face. i hate that you control my
life & i hate that i have to left people because of you. i lost my self & my world to you.
sorry for being complicated. i told what i want you to think i want but
at the same time, i want you to notice that it's not what i want. weird
huh? i always thought as if you could read my mind. and you always said
that you can read me. the reason behind my every moves. it irritates me
that somehow you're always right. for once i want prove that you're
wrong. i can't act all innocent in front of you. because you're the
first person who knows my motives behind my every words, roads that i
took & you always said that you know me better than me. is that so? i
guess you're right. and maybe that is exactly why you left. because you knew me.
i had a crush on your best friend and i'm terribly sorry for
that. now that i think about it, it must hurt so bad for the one that
you loved, loving the one that you trust the most. i can't imagine being
you even for a day. i mean, how could i? i was a monster to you before.
i never really meant what i said. i never really did something out of "just because"
but i guess you realized that before i did don't you? and that must
hurt a lot. to know someone better than they do. to know that they did
it on purposed. hurting you just because. again, how could i? you really
loved me before right. you did. that's not even a question. i know that
better than everyone else and i guess that is exactly why i got tired
of you. more than i do. it's just, sometimes we will get tired of being love so much. i
guess that makes both of us to noticed that. but i was.. i was really
in love with him; your bestfriend. and i know i couldn't get him in any
way possible. and i'm sorry for taking you for granted. i used you. i
used your love. i did many horrible things to you simply to see you give
up. so that when you finally do, i won't be the bad guy anymore. it
will be you, because you're the one who left. doesn't matter why but the
fact that you gave up & left, makes you the bad guy.
but you're at fault to you know. you controls me too much and i'm tired
of it. all the girls adore you and you're aware of that. you know that
you're almost perfect and i hate that part of you so much. the fact that
you know exactly how popular you are. you never really listen to my
stories and it's all about you. as much as i used you, you used me too.
so i guess that's fair enough. you're never really a gentleman. i pay
for our every meals and movies & your hug always lead to something
else. i gave up on us long time a ago.
now that i fall in love again, i don't want it to complicated like our
love did. i want it to be simple & just having fun out of the good
in it. left the bad things behind. i want it to be completely different
from our story. so i changed. i'm not the girl that you used to know.
maybe because i did learnt my lesson. i can't get jealous & it
doesn't really hurt anymore. over all of things. it weirds but i guess i
used all of my emotions on you. now that you've left me half empty, i
forgot. i really forgot how to love again & feel something out of
it. anything. i guess can't hurt my feelings if i don't have any.
the fact that we laugh all the time and not screaming at 3AM &
fights and not backing off is just.. lonely.. this new guy, he loves me
so much and he make sure that everyone knows that you know. he is the
kind of guy that girls can only dream off. he's the Tumblr guy. he's a
skater and lives in underground world. the bad boy who treats every girl
who annoys him like shit. but when he met me, that bad guy turns into a
romeo. he is a real prince charming and he puts me above anything
else. i don't want our love story became public like our love did. we
rarely fight & i tend to forgive him right away. i really want to be
the completely opposite from our story. not that our story is a bad one
but i just don't want that kind of ending. to left just because it
finally burst out & we just couldn't take it anymore. with him,
everything is so simple. he knows my past & i accept his flaws. he
loves me for who i am & he didn't make me jealous at all. i know
that i said i cant get jealous but with him, it's more like he's the one
who won't make do anything to make me feel insecure or jealous. he
considers my feelings over all of his movements. but he did a mistake
like you did; he made me his world. he loves me too much. and i don't like that. i don't want him to be another you.