Tuesday, 16 December 2014



isnt it funny how one simple thing can change someones life.
how one single person can ruin someone's future.
how a couple silly actions can cause someone so much distress.
ive never thought how my actions may affect me no matter anyone else in the future.
ive never looked back at how other people or how things that ive done have made me who i am now.
whether it's something or praise or somthing dismay, those of dismay always seem to be most memorable.
the ones that make you feel stupid or embarrassed.
those mistakes that i look back in and regret are those that i remember.

ive made a mistake. it's not just a silly mistake like forgetting my lunch, it's something that makes me not trust people.
it's something that i will remember in years to come.
it's something that makes me feel worse than i ever have. i feel disgusting. stupid. naive. hurt. embarrassed. idiotic. and worst of all... scared.
i think maybe sometimes ignorance truly is bliss. i want to believe that the world is a nice place.
i want to believe that people in it aren't not cruel and sly and can be trusted.
you dont want things you have because you already have it.
so i have none of those things, do i?
im going to keep wanting those things though because without wanting anything, the world would be a dark place.
nothing to hope for and nothing to drive you forwards.
i have drive and sometimes i think that's the only thing i have but i hold on to that. i hold on to the possible future and it makes me hopeful.

throughout my short-lived life i have come to observe the world as a kind world full of cruel souls.
you see, there will always be good and always be bad,
but we dont always see it.

i've decided that i dont like people really. dont get me wrong, i dont mean it in a horrible way.
im just not a people person. they hurt you, manipulate you and disappoint you.
all i know is that being with people.. im not me.

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